I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
