he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
