if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
