Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
