we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We were destined to go to rehab together
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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