angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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