Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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