Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
