return my video game
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
