Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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