You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
