We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
