My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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