whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
