Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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