i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
