weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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