had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
