Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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