took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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