So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
