i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
