You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
