im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
