You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
