Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
