my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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