Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
