There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
