I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
