i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
