She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
