hell yes lets make some ravioli
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
