im drinking this country out of the recession.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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