I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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