This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
