i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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