I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
