Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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