was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
