fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
