ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
