im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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