I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
