Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
