I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
