By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
