Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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