WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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