I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
